There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 1 John 4:18

The Fear Factor

A consistent indicator that my inner compass is misaligned is fear.

In recent years I came to be aware of a free-floating fear within me. It often was off my cognitive radar, unnamed, lurking like an iceberg in the fog.

One day it was finances – “How are we going to make it through these expenses?”

The next health – “What is that pain in my head?”

The next day a relationship. Or a task ahead. Or…..geesh. That free floating fear is like a burr, just looking to attach itself to anything that comes along.

It was quite the revelation when I named this dynamic within me. Actually, the Spirit was the one who put this on my awareness radar. This is one of the graces of the Spirit. The Spirit actually brings these deep wounds to the surface of our awareness so they can be healed. We cooperate with him in this. This fear was tripping me up. The Spirit pointed it out to me.

How shall I respond? The Spirit was inviting me toward another season of growth in trust.

Perfected in Love

It is instructive that the Apostle John (in 1 John 4) juxtaposes fear with love. Love dispels fear. Simple enough. How does that work though?

Love is never passive, it is effectual. By that I mean it shapes us. Love changes us. As does an absence of being loved – that also shapes us.

Love is not merely an emotion. It is a Person. Love is not just a what, it is also a Who. Father, Son and Spirit are love.

Love has taken up residence within us. The Spirit of the Father is love, and so much more. He is seeking to transform us, heal us, shape us, mature us. Love is his way with us.

As I grow in love, those other malforming dynamics begin to lose their sway. What has a larger sway on me today – love or fear or shame or anxiety or….?

It would be too simplicistic to over-spiritualize this. Being transformed from chronic anxiety to resting in love does not happen with mere Scripture memorization – as helpful and essential as that is. Our stories run deep within the canyons of our souls. It takes decades and many helps to heal from these wounds.

But we have an ally. His name is Love.

Ways to Proceed

My fear was formed in me at the hands of others during formative years.

And I also agreed to those dynamics as I aged. I am not a victim, I am complicit.

We have some hard inner work to do. We are not on our own in this. The Spirit is within us and always helping us. Together it is the hard work of maturing.

We have to name things; confess them; repent of them; be willing to learn new ways of responding to others and life circumstances. It can be a long turbulent path, This is the way of growing in love. I’d like for the up and down dynamic to be normalized for us all.

How did it look for me?

The free-floating fear within me had to be named. Actually it had step-siblings to be named too.

There was: “I am on my own.” That had to be named for sure. This is a lie.

Then the ugly brother: “Its all up to me.” Named. Another lie to be confessed (confession is simply acknowledging what is).

As these are named and confessed to Jesus, he cleanses, he disarms the lies, and he heals that which is broken. Not in a mere therapeutic way so I can feel better about myself. This is a deepening of our true identity in the Father’s love.

These loving acts redirected my orientation to our loving Father. One of my purposes in life is to receive and live in the Father’s love. It is confounding how much I long for that, and fight against it too.

As John teaches us in 1 John 4, we cannot change ourselves. God transforms us as we yield to him and follow him. He is deepening our roots around his love.

May you be en-couraged to follow closely and receive his healing.

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