Spiritual Direction: Is it Legit?

Posted on August 13, 2015 by Scott Shaum

 What’s Up with Spiritual Direction?
There are some in Evangelical circles who hold the practice of spiritual direction at arms length. “Is it even biblical?”, one might ask. Is this just another buzz topic from the prevalent “spiritual formation” movement? Or is this a viable skill set for shepherds?

I have been through a biblically grounded, Trinitarian, Christ-centered training in spiritual direction. I also receive spiritual direction, as much as I can, on a monthly basis. I find the input into my life invaluable. The unique contribution of spiritual direction has helped me to grow in my discernment and spiritual care of others. I am a better shepherd because of the direction I receive and the skill set at my disposal.

Below are helpful resources on the topic. Even if you are skeptically curious, I cannot encourage you enough to read Gordon T. Smith’s book. If you want more, then take a look at Morris Dirks’ offering.  Lest one think this is only a “catholic” practice, both brothers are protestant.  Plus, I list below two trainings you could look into.

Spiritual Direction that guides people toward union with Christ in reliance on the Spirit and the Word is a worthy skill for the accomplished shepherd. I argue it is a needed spiritual practice for anyone in ministry.

Spiritual Direction Resources
Like anything else out there, one must vet such recommendations. I seek to bring a Trinitarian, Christocentric, Biblical set of resources to such recommendations. But each of us must read critically and discern well.

Books
Spiritual Direction by Gordon T. Smith

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I have read numerous books on the subject, this is the most solid I have read to date. I heartily recommend it. Smith is centered theologically and biblically in his writings (Called To Be Saints is another of his titles I strongly encourage to be devoured). He is Canadian, has a CMA background and previously lived and served in the Philippines for many years. This book’s text is a mere 90 pages, yet it is dense. Smith says a great deal with an economy of words. Even if you have no interest in spiritual direction, this is a great, concise read on central elements of spiritual growth.

Forming the Leader’s Soul: An Invitation to Spiritual Formation By Morris Dirks

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Dirks is based in the Seattle area and has a ministry aimed at ministry leaders. This book argues for the necessity of everyone in ministry needing spiritual input on a formal basis. Chapter 2 excellently details the systemic ill-health amidst pastors and other workers in the evangelical movement. His paradigm for spiritual direction is Ignatian, which many argue was a key reformation figure from within the catholic church in Southern Europe while Luther and others reformed further north. Though not as theologically steeped as Smith, it offers great practical helps.

Spiritual Direction Trainings
Sustainable Faith (sustainablefaith.org)

FullSizeRenderThis training is offered in many U. S. cites and has recently branched into a few European cities. Following a cohort model, this is a small group, highly relational model of training. I have been through this program and both enjoyed it and grew from it. I have also had the privilege of co-leading/training a cohort. It has shaped the way I engage people in my shepherding work.

Spiritual Growth Ministries Aortearoa New Zealand  (sgm.org.nz)
I do not have any personal experience with this training. One of our staff highly recommends it. Here are her comments to me: “It’s a two-year course in classical spiritual direction with a lot of practical application and internship. That’s one of the reasons I decided to go with it. Lots and lots of supervised practice. There is one five-day required workshop in NZ, but the rest is done via internet.”

I’d love to hear of other excellent trainings and resources you migth know of.

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Mining Wisdom from Life

Posted on August 4, 2015 by Scott Shaum
©Scott E. Shaum 2015

Life Experience Does not Automatically Equate Wisdom
We all have many life experiences. However, going from life experience to life experience does not automatically make one wise. The book of Proverbs tells us that, looking through the grid of Scripture, reflecting on life experiences is a major source of growing in wisdom.

When our lives are crammed full of movement and activity, we miss out on much of what we experience. In Proverbs 1:20-23 wisdom is anthropomorphized as a woman who is standing on the busy street corner of life offering her gift. Yet the simpletons scurry on by to the next activity. If one will just stop and consider, wisdom can be gained. We have sight, but we often do not see well. We hear, but we do not listen.

Wisdom is Yet Another Loss Due to Busyness
Let me give you an example. A few years back I was in on the writing of a survey for field leaders. One of the questions was how much time leaders spent reflecting on crucial issues they are facing? The number was not surprising. Yet it was alarming. It was somewhere near nil. They were simply too busy to take the time to reflect on the crucial elements before them. The ability to make wise choices is lost due in part, to constant, compulsive busyness.

Reflection is a Wise Practice
Taking time regularly – at least weekly – to ponder what we have seen, heard, felt, read, and experienced is a wise practice. Our everyday mundane life is a veritable gold mine of wisdom. But we must mine the wisdom out of life.  How much time do you take to reflect? Who in your life helps you learn from life?  In your shepherding of others, how are you guiding others to reflect upon their life? Are you coaching people in this wise practice?

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Photo: ©Scott E. Shaum 2015

Reflection is a Simple Practice
Consider a time of the week where you might be able to spend a good chunk of time, 2-4 hours, alone. It can be helpful to get away from your normal environment, maybe head to a coffee shop or park. I like to take time during my early Sabbath morning to reflect.

How do you process well? Walking? Writing? Laying on your back pondering toward the heavens? Doing something with you hands like gardening, cooking, or woodworking? These are all viable environs for reflecting. Stillness is best though. Other than time and removal of stimulus (i.e. put that phone and email away), a key ingredient is good questions. I have collected a list of them over the years. Here is a sample. Be a collector of good questions.

Reflective Questions:
How have you experienced God lately?
How are you responding to God’s initiative?
What or who are you avoiding? Why? How might you lean in?
Has anyone spoken something significant to you recently that caught your attention?
Who do you need to spend time with? How might you do that?
What is God inviting you to?
What have been your primary emotions this week?
What have you found yourself praying?

Shepherds: Be a promoter of personal reflection. Most people simply need permission, some simple skill coaching, and a list of questions. Follow up with them to find out what they have been learning. Promoting this practice is one way to encourage life-long learning.

Anyone have some good reflective questions or practices to share?  Thanks for commenting.

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What If You Struggle with Community

Posted on July 23, 2015 by Scott Shaum

Community Travails
A few weeks ago, on a Saturday morning, my wife and I found ourselves with two dear, dear friends of ours over breakfast. It was the usual chatter of kids, heart stuff, life stuff, and movies we had watched. There was laughter and there were some tears. It was rich.

And it is all too inconsistent in my life.

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Confession: I am not happy with the present state of  my community. It’s less than it needs to be and much less than my wife and I want it to be. Make no mistake we have some very dear and close friends in the area where we live. And one of the graces of itinerant work is we have friends scattered the world over.

Yet one of the liabilities of an itinerant work is being dislocated from consistent community.  Community is hard to find even with a “normal” lifestyle.  We are square pegs in our local church community’s round-holes. We just don’t fit because of our inconsistent presence due to our travel schedule.

Maybe you can resonate. It may be due to a high turnover in your community.  Even our roles and titles can separate us. Being a shepherd – whether counselor, pastor, or care giver of any stripe – tends to set us apart at times. People think we have all the answers, live extra-ordinary lives free of struggles and failures, and sometimes think we are just plain weird. Which, in some ways, we are.

I lament community at times.

A Community Lament
I call the lack of consistent community in my life an ever present lament. I lament that we are not around enough to have regular dinners with friends or be part of a local, weekly small group.

How about you? Can you put words to any lament you may have in regard to community? Maybe you do not live as itinerant a schedule as we do, but yet find it a constant uphill chore toward deep, meaningful community. Lament is a crucial response to such a loss in life. A lament is a response of grief. Our losses must be named so they can be grieved. Lament is verbalizing a legitimate deep groan in our souls. It is not the same as complaining which has a tone of “this is not fair” to it.

Intentional, intentional, intentional. Community is hard work. For those of us who have itinerant or leader roles, we might have to work extra hard at this community thing. Do not give up. Keep pursuing. Do not sit at home hoping someone will call. Do not allow your heart to be closed off in this area of life. You must be intentional about community or it will not happen.

Shepherd’s Community Reality: A Sacrifice
An itinerant shepherd’s work requires much personal sacrifice. I have simply accepted that doing the work God has called us to give our lives to means we will likely never have “normal” community. It is one of the consequential sacrifices of our calling. I can either be bitter about it or I can embrace it and know that my Father sees and will tend to me.

How are you responding to God in this area of your life?

It would be a gift to hear some responses or ideas on this subject of community.

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What If: God Does not Resolve Problems

Posted on June 29, 2015 by Scott Shaum

God Does Not Always Resolve Our Problems
The person sitting before me is distraught. He has been faithfully serving in a very difficult region of the world. Time and again He has faced a medical crisis. The medical costs have been high. The emotional cost has been wearing.  What is God up to? Why will he not do something?

How Do We Respond?
We have all found ourselves in these types of situations. What do we say and not say? Those of us from the west, and increasingly globally, come from cultures that like results. We do not like unresolved tensions. We like to diagnose and prescribe and move on.

But God does not work this way. Yes, he does heal and deliver and provide. But often, maybe more times than not, he seems to do nothing.

How is the shepherd to respond? Well, there is no answer as the variables are too expansive. Yet, the Bible is not silent on the topic. Let’s ponder just one passage:

2 Corinthians 1:3-5
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.

Key Truths
The word translated “comfort” (sometimes translated “mercies”) is an interesting word. It is the same Greek word used to describe the “helper” (i.e. Holy Spirit) that was to be sent to us referred to in John 14-16. It means “to come alongside.” The Greek root is paraklete.

When I think of God’s help, I think of him fixing my life problems. Sometimes he does. Mostly he doesn’t. So I am missing something in my expectations. Though God does not always resolve, God is not passive. In fact, he is present. He is the come-alongside-God.

Paradoxical Parallel Realties in Life
There can be two seemingly paradoxical realities in my life at the same time. One reality is called suffering. It can come in the form of various trials, temptations, losses, and pains.

The other concurrent reality  is called “paraklete.” God’s presence.  God does not promise I will live a suffering-free existence. In fact, he assures the opposite (see John 16:33 for example). But he does promise his presence. And his presence always means redemption, his word, and his provision. Our God redeems the painful realties of life. Our God speaks truth and love to us. Our God provides for our needs.

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Beauty Amidst Potential Pain. Photo © Scott E. Shaum


Mimic the Chief Shepherd
This is a cue for me in how to respond to the one with tough questions and life pains. I need not have the answers. I need not diagnose his weak faith and challenge him to read the bible more or pray more or do some other moralistic acts. I can be the presence of God to him though, and be “with him” in his pain and confusion. I can extend care in the form of compassion, lament, and hope. But I cannot and need not try to fix anything.

A Principle
Here is a principle to ponder: If God has not fixed the problem, why should I try to? Biblically we have a long theme that God uses hardships as a redemptive element in our lives. If I try to help people out of their problems, could I be working against God’s redemptive activity? Maybe. Maybe not. The key is to be slow to speak with advise and long to listen to God and wait on him.

Above all else shepherds have the privilege of being journey-mates with sheep. Offer them your presence.

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Be Encouraged in Your Efforts

Posted on June 15, 2015 by Scott Shaum

Shepherding of souls is a noble work.

Shepherding is Hard Work
Shepherding is a hard work, fraught with unforeseen realties. We love people and they walk away from God and us. Sheep do wander at times. We all do.We listen to people and they feel misunderstood. Human communications are easy to cross. We go and we give and we wonder if any one really notices. Your Father in heaven always sees what is done in secret. God, too, experiences these dynamics with his people.

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Sheep in Tuscany Italy ©Scott E. Shaum

Persevere in Doing Your Shepherd Work
Shepherding is a life-long work. In my organization we encourage a “flock” mentality. In other words, find a group of people you can love and journey with for years to come. Continually visit them, call them, check in on them, resource them, nurture and encourage them. And above all pray for them. This is a shepherd’s work. This is a persevering work. It might feel that after the novelty wears off we are weary of these people’s needs and they don’t seem appreciative of us or our efforts. However, the shepherd’s opportunity is to pursue these people over a long period of time. Transformation takes place over long periods of time in the context of lasting relationship.

Remember, The Father Sees You
So be encouraged in your shepherding work. There is no greater work we can do than invest in the lives of others. Shepherding work is copying of how God cares for us. If you feel dry or alone or unseen in your work, seek some personal time of renewal. Linger for some extended time in your Father’s presence. Enjoy him tending to you. Gaze back at him as he gazes steadily upon you. We are all sheep first, children of the Father first. Shepherding flows out of this core identity and reality.

Be encouraged. Your shepherding work is of highest value.

How has God affirmed you in your care of others? I’d love to hear of that affirmation.

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The Gift of Leaning-In Listening

Posted on June 8, 2015 by Scott Shaum

Seeking Deep Waters
The other evening my wife and I found ourselves sitting with a friend. It was an easy conversation, not a pre-arranged appointment. After numerous misses at seeking a job, our friend had found herself with the decision between two offers. The two jobs were very different. Each would tap into aspects of her skill sets. Each had positives and negatives. Which one should she choose?

There was more here than the very real aspect of an important decision. There were deeper waters being stirred in our friend as she considered the options. Ours was the honored opportunity  to draw out the deep waters of another person’s heart.

“The purpose of a man’s heart is like deep waters
a man of understanding will draw it out.” Proverbs 20:5

Listening: The Greatest Gift
There is a difference between hearing and listening.

There is no greater service we can provide to others than pursuing their heart through the gift of listening. Each of us long to be known, seen, heard, and understood. Listening is one of the greatest, most sacrificial offerings we extend to others. How is leaning-in listening sacrificial? When we choose to listen deeply to another we set our needs and wants aside. We take the time to draw out the other person.  This type of listening must be one of our persistent pursuits as far as a competency.

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Listening well can lead to Open Doors

 Leaning into the Other’s Story
So often when one person shares something they experienced, their story is seldom entered into. You are likely familiar with the scenario. One person shares a story and as soon as they take a breath the next person jumps in with their story. I once heard this called “story stealing.”

Resisting the urge to tell my story on top of another person’s story takes some real self-awareness and restraint. A great gift in any sort of conversation, whether formal counseling or friendly chatting, is to lean into the other person’s story. Asking questions is the way forward on this path. We might ask for more details -“Tell me more about that.” Or we might explore deeper into the heart by asking about impact and feelings.

The simple gift of leaning into the other person and what they are sharing is a profound gift that we seldom extend to one another. For a shepherd, this is not only ground level care it is the richest of offerings.

The Gift of Listening
As my wife and I sat with our friend and plied her with questions about the decision before her, it was great joy to hear her verbalize insights and ideas. Of course, we did not have the answer for her on what she ought do. She is wise and made a good decision. What we could offer her was our presence with her as she processed. What this processing facilitates is the person coming to grasps with their own “answers.” This self-discovery is powerful. Far more effective than if I was the answer-man.

Shepherds: The skill of asking excellent questions can be learned. I often pay attention when I am reading a book in which the author raises great questions. I also take notes when I am in the presence of another one who asks the types of questions that invite deeper reflection. I always want to be learning more of this art of leaning into another’s story through asking questions that draw out the deep waters of their heart.

Listening is a self-sacrificing gift we offer to others. Who do you know who needs to be listened to today?

 

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Shepherd’s Shout Out: The Journal Of Spiritual Formation and Soul Care

Posted on May 20, 2015 by Scott Shaum

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 The Journal of Spiritual Formation and Soul Care is put out by Biola/Talbot. It is a peer-reviewed, twice-per-year journal with some theological weight to it. It is a bit pricey for a one year subscription ($30), but I have found it an excellent resource that has sharpened my thinking and teaching biblically and theologically on the subject at hand as well as guide me in my personal journey.

Individual volumes can be purchased. I would highly recommend Spring 2014 (Vol. 7, No. 1) and the special section on The Practice of Contemplative Prayer in an Evangelical Context. This is Biblically wonderful writing. With all the buzz on contemplative spirituality out there, these articles provide biblical grounding and guidance for contemplative practices.

Check it out at journals.biola.edu/sfj/

Do you have an excellent resource you want to share? Shout it out on a comment. Thanks for passing it along for others to see. I am always looking for good reads and resources.

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Who are You Becoming?

Posted on May 12, 2015 by Scott Shaum

Danger! Danger!
There is a huge danger in full time ministry. Too many of us find a sense of worth and value in being needed. We like to help others. We like to be sought out for answers to life’s vexing challenges. This is all pretty heady stuff. We all know the danger in this dynamic. The risk of being sucked into this vortex is constant. Shepherd, beware.

The Greater Focus
I have clear memories of this truth becoming a personal reality in my life. I was part of a thriving ministry. Growth abounded all around us. At least numerically. But then an internal implosion happened. Under the intense pressure of “successful” ministry leaderships character was revealed and the walls caved in. It was ugly. It was painful. It was disillusioning. God taught me that competency is needed, but without character being shaped, it would not withstand the storms of life and ministry. Those were eye-opening days for me. God started by asking me, “Who do you want to be? From what do you want to minister to others – your own skill set and programs or from a well drilled deep into the Person of God?”

This is the lesson I was taught by God: We minister out of who we are.
Who we are becoming as God redeems us is far more crucial than what we get done.

The way we are matured is to soak ourselves in the Presence, Person and Word of God. There is no shortcut here. We become like the One we spend time with.

Any Naysaying?
I imagine some readers responding, “But we are supposed to deny ourselves, lay our lives down.” Yes, we are to lay our lives down for others. But what is the state of your life that you are giving to others? There are too many of us who are literally hiding behind frenetic doing for others. God invites us to face our own hearts and lives and relational tendencies. As He matures us, then deep waters emerge from which others might be refreshed. These deep waters are not a new ministry technique. They are the very Presence and Person of God in and through us. We cannot gain such influence by attending another ministry workshop. We are shaped by God as we spend what will likely feel like an uncomfortable amount of time with him.

Reflection Questions on Becoming who God has Redeemed us to Be

  • Who do you want to be in 10 years? What do you want your relationships to look like, beginning with your walk with God?  What influence do you want to provide? In short, who do you want to become and how would you like that to impact others?
  • How much time are you spending daily with God? How much are you studying the Word?  “Study” does not mean reading a short devotional, it means rolling up your sleeves and digging in. Soak yourself in the word. Please consider this: 10 minutes in a devotional book is not going to feed your soul anymore than a box of french fries as your only meal everyday will feed your body. Read on “Spiritual Anemia” here.
  • How much time are you sitting quietly and still with God daily? One of my personal dangers is to study the word, learn something, then walk into my busy day. The Word can become something I analyze and study cerebrally. The invitation is to go from study of Scripture to heart engagement with God. Allow the word to take you to your God and sit with him with whatever he has shown you. The goal is not knowledge acquisition, it is to be taught by God to walk with him in all of life. Bible knowledge without love will morph into arrogance (see 1 Corinthians 8:1). Start with sitting absolutely still and silent with God for 10 minutes everyday. Think about it, 10 minutes for nothing but sole attention on God per day. Do this for 30 days. You will want more.
  • How much time do you spend reflecting on your life weekly? Take some time each week – go to a coffee shop or sit alone on your sabbath – and ponder what you have heard, seen, and felt in life, how you have responded, what others have said to you, and where God has tended to you. Life experience is one of the key ways we grow in wisdom, if we ponder and reflect upon it.
  • How much time do you spend in solitude with God each month? Consider taking a 1/2 or full day of solitude and prayer every month.
  • What are you reading that is feeding you? Stretching you? Growing you?
  • Talk to wise people 10 or 20 years older than you and ask them what you ought to be paying attention to at this stage of your life. Listen carefully. Even if you do not like the answer, be not the fool of Proverbs and ignore their counsel. Who do you talk to monthly that serves as a mentor, counselor, spiritual director or guide? Seek God for these people and never cease looking for and pursuing them. Do not sit by hoping some wise sage will seek you out. You must seek them out and always take the initiative.
  • How much time do you play? How about being creative? Personally I enjoy fly fishing and tying my own flies. This is a creative outlet that gets me outside, allows me to engage beauty (ever held a rainbow trout in your hand?), and be creative. What do you do? Paint? Bike? Write? Cook great meals? Give yourself permission to play. Be sure you are engaged in beauty, especially if you live in a dense, urban area. These are formative practices especially as we receive them as good gifts graced upon us by a Father overflowing in love. What does this have to do with “becoming”? It keeps our hearts soft, it makes us more fully human, and it allows us to engage God in environs that are outside of ministry. Our life is more than our work.

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Beauty: Rainbow Trout Tail Pattern   photo by Scott E. Shaum

These are but a few practices that will have a positive accumulative effect in your life lived over decades. Much of this takes planning, focus, and discipline. That’s the way God designed it. Above all else, do not seek to accomplish any of this in your own effort. Always ask God to allow you to know his presence and love; his instruction and guidance; his provision and care. 10 years from now, you will be excited about who he is shaping you to become.

Remember: We give to others are of who we are. Who are you and who are you becoming?

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