The previous post looked at the dynamic of leadership within organizational systems and how values play a role in that.

In this second part on what drives us to be task focused over people focused, we will reflect upon emotional maturity.

Part 2: Emotional Immaturity

Emotional immaturity is another cause of making task more important than people. 

We all think we are emotionally mature. 

Emotional maturity has to do with not only self-awareness but also being aware of other’s emotions, and how impact is playing out in a room. A tendency is to be so self-focused in any given situation that one is unaware of the impact one is having on others. This is an essential growth area.

Peter Scazzero and his wife have developed many useful tools and resources in this arena. If you have not read and slowly pondered each chapter of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, then put that at the top of your read list. This is essential reading.

Impact Audit

Here is a practice that will draw on your courage reserves: Ask any one you have regular contact with – friends, spouse, workmates, etc.  the following question- “What it is like to relate to me?” 

They will balk, likely sugar coat and avoid. Be persistent. Tell them you really want to know. NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY, receive it. Ask clarifying questions but otherwise you are only allowed to say “thank you.”  Do not be defensive or explain your actions for that will immediately erode trust. Simply receive what they say – it is simply how they experience you, as subjective as that may be.  It takes courage to be honest. Thank them. 

Be forewarned that if you are deemed by others to be a defensive or otherwise unsafe person, you may get very little concrete feedback. If it is all positive, no hard stuff to hear, then you likely are not hearing the whole story.

Making the Change (i.e Repent)

As a person who has influence over others, it is a big shift to replace efficiency with relationship and emotional awareness. 

So for example, that might mean that the agenda for a meeting is totally sidetracked because one of the team members is deeply struggling. The person takes precedent over the task at hand. Of course there is a balance here, that one person can’t sidetrack the entire forward movement. Yet, the people in the room hold higher value than the task at hand.

When teams make this shift, they are on their way to valuing people. What one will eventually have is an organizational culture that fosters health, healing, people development, ongoing maturation, and skill development. These matured ones will eagerly lay their lives down for others. The mission will get done.

 It is a beautiful thing when it all comes to life.

Again, I welcome your comments on this topic.