When we deliberately opt to disengage for a day (sabbath) or a season (sabbatical), what might be the impact on us? Why would one even want to do that?

My wife and I have been granted a sabbatical for the middle part of this year. It came at a perfect time. The first four months of this year were very demanding. Much good work was done. And there was some deep personal grief at play. All this took its toll.

When May 1 arrived, day one of sabbatical, I felt spent and poured out. I was done. Toast. Deeply tired. 

It was not that I had overextended. Contrary. I am confident that what we have been about the past 5 plus years, as well as the first 4 months of this year, was his guidance. We gave until we were spent. It was a good tired, deep though it was. It was going to take some weeks to “get back to zero.”

And it did take many weeks for rest to begin to take shape within me. 

As Rest did shape in me, I began to notice some shifts within amidst these initial weeks of disengagement. 

First, I was not missing much of what I had normally been doing. Travel, meetings, public speaking, leadership decisions, spiritual direction, and so on were all set aside. The break was very good. It is good and wise to hit pause, to set normal roles aside for a time. 

Second, much of what I had struggled to let go of suddenly had a different sense of importance to it. Why was it so hard for me to let those things go? Prior to sabbatical I was feeling very ambivalent about the whole thing. I was leery of setting roles and responsibilities aside. Now, much of it didn’t seem quite so important.

Why is that?

Well, I suspect that as I get more and more engaged in efforts, it is still too easy for my sense of identity to slowly drift. I drift from being firmly grounded in my Father and his opinion of me to a false sense of who I am. All of us struggle with this. Most of us are unaware of just how deep this false sense of identity shapes us. I found that as I sat all those roles aside, I became aware of false attachments to them. Weeks into this sabbatical, they don’t hold the same sense of import to me. 

This is also good and healthy. It is one reason we are to practice a weekly sabbath – to once again find our delight in God, not what we do. 

But after years of life and work, drift happens.  We need more than a weekly sabbath to experience such substantial re-orientation and renewal. Sabbatical is a God-given gift to aid us in re-orientation. Sabbatical is an extended sabbath of sorts. It’s more than that for sure, but it is an extended sabbath as well. 

Rest is beginning to take shape in me again. I want to know the full force and impact of deep rest in the Person of Jesus, who is our rest. I want to feel the equilibrium that the Father’s love provides. 

Also, I want to begin to discern what it is most true and appropriate for me to be working at once I do engage work again. We make our best discerning decisions when we are well oriented in Father, Son and Spirit and from a place of rest, not frenetic, compulsive habit.

It requires a sabbatical for any of us to experience such a shift. I am grateful for that gift in this season.  I am grateful for my organizational leadership for such a gift.

Next time, I’ll reflect on what has been engaged amidst this disengagement from normal work. Until then, may you know Christ as your Rest today.