Tending Scattered Wool

200 Care Givers Gathered outside Asheville, NC USA
Last week I had the privilege to gather with a little over 200 fellow caregivers at the annual PTM conference. I have attended many of the member care events (MHM, MC2,  Care Connexion, GMCN, etc.). There is not another member care event like this one.

For one, the conference goes out of its way to provide extensive time for the nourishment and care of the care giver. Every year there is great worship (Marc Imboden!), Bible teaching, time for meaningful conversation, and reflection. Of course, engaging workshops and networking abound. This year there were over 100 first time attendees, with roughly 1/3 of them new in the member care gig.

Mark it on your calendar. This is a worthy investment of time and money.

See you there! October 4-7, 2016

From the PTM Web Site:

A Tendency Toward Pragmatism
There is an obvious tendency toward using what works. However, this is not necessarily a healthy outlook in relationship, including our spiritual journey. For example, maybe I am struggling in my engagement with the word – its dry, its lifeless, my heart feels unpliable. We often seek a method to re-light the fire, so to speak. What will make the word come alive? Maybe I should try that study my friend was speaking about….That is pragmatism in action: “What can I do to make my life work?”

Moralism in the Pulpit
It is a rarity for me to leave a Sunday service without having heard an exhortation to go out and do something. I just need to be more focused, more determined, try harder next time. And so I ask God for his help and go back at it again. This sort of moralistic thinking is rampid in the evangelical world. Yes, there are imperatives in our faith journey – obedience, love, service, etc. But those imperatives are a natural overflow of a vibrant love-relationship. Self-determination does not bring life change beyond mere behavioralism.

Pragmatic moralism is a real killer. Avoid it like the plague that it is.

Relationship, Relationship, Relationship
God is not pensively waiting for us to do life better with more focus and determination. This is not his greatest desire for us. It is not what he is inviting us to. What is our God’s greater invitation?

He is always wooing us, inviting us, drawing us deeper into himself. His greatest desire is that we are hearing and receptive to his invitation deeper into communion.

As I said, determination does not lead to life change. Love transforms. Love is a Person. Grace is not an objective commodity that is passed around. We do not “plug into” God so we can do more stuff for him. Grace is a Person. We are invited deeper into Jesus. His life will overflow in ours. We will experience a growing desire to obey him and serve others – not out of trying harder, but rather as a Jesus-sourced desire.

It’s all about relationship.

My Life First, My Shepherding Second
As I am responsive to the Spirit’s constant invitation to enter into the eternal communion of the Father and the Son, that reality will cascade out of my life to others. My teaching will shift from emphasizing how hard we must work at our spiritual life (moralism) toward emphasizing a relational responsiveness to God who will bring the changes in our lives in time (relational-transformation).

So how is God inviting you deeper into abiding communion with Christ? How is He overflowing in your life? Where is the Spirit inviting you to grow in faith, hope and love? How are you responding to him to allow him to shape as he likes, when he likes? Relationship is the bedrock of each of these questions. Focus on Jesus. He is our Life, our ministry to others, our all.

Mysterious Illness
Many years ago I found myself in a very dark place. I had been in Cambodia and contracted something. No doctor could tell me what. I felt awful. I had an entire spectrum of symptoms. All the tests came out negative. This went on for a year. I was extremely frustrated. I was experiencing acute anxiety as my symptoms flaired. My future was uncertain. On top of it all, God seemed to have just up and left.

Not a Pretty Picture
When I tell the story, I describe that I felt like I was cruising down the road of life. Suddenly, God pulled the car over and told me to get out. So I did. Then he just drove away. I found myself in a barren, featureless land that I had never seen before. And there I sat. For 6 months. Long, dark, unpleasant months. On top of the physical symptoms and emotional angst, I was in a proverbial dark night of the soul. I hated it.

A Hard Answer
Initially I was furious with God. This was the second major illness I had contracted within two years. Angrily, I questioned God, “So I go to the hard places to care for your people and this is what I get?!”

No Answer.

For six months.

Nothing.      Silence.       Darkness.      Isolation.      Barrenness.

Eventually, the answer came. He answered gently.

“Yes.”

That’s all he said.

Personal Suffering is Part of the Calling
Jesus said five times in John chapter 10, “The Good Shepherd lays his  life down for the sheep.” Of course, he was speaking of himself. Yet, throughout Scripture the message is clear. Those God places in positions to lead and care for his people must lay their lives down for them. Good shepherds lay their lives down for the sheep.

An aspect of fulfilling the calling of shepherding souls is that the shepherd will experience hardships of all kinds. Just read 2 Corinthians and note all Paul experienced. And if it is true for Jesus, the True Shepherd, it is true for the under-shepherds. Personal suffering is an essential element of fulfilling the shepherding calling.

How About You?
What personal hardships do you find yourself experiencing as you go about your shepherding work? They might be relational, physical, emotional, spiritual – anything. These realities can be profoundly confusing. Questions and doubts can swirl within us. “Am I doing something wrong?” “Am I not hearing God?”

Adversity is not neccesarily a sign that something is “wrong” (other than we live in a fallen world). It may actually mean we are on the right track. Remember Paul’s words and be encouraged to tuck deeper into your Father’s care, “For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you (2 Corinthians 4:11-12).”

Personal suffering as a result of tending to others is an aspect of the shepherd’s work. It may not ease the pain, but it is a comfort to know this clear and mysterious truth. May you be comforted by his presence in whatever adversities you find yourself in.

Book Resource

L. Ann Jervis’ At the Heart of the Gospel is a very worthy read. She looks at three of Paul’s writings observing the development of Paul’s understanding of suffering over the years. She exegetes 1 Thessalonians (an earlier letter), Philippians (written mid-career) and Romans (a seminal work of Paul’s) to describe the role of suffering in the life of the believer. This is a very rich book indeed.

International Travel is Profoundly Wearing
I was sitting in a quiet room of an organization’s offices in Phnom Penh several years ago. By simply being present, people wandered in to “chat.” Those chats frequently turned into very deep conversations as people entrusted me with teammate conflicts, sexual struggles, fears, spiritual dryness, doubts, hurts, and frustrations. When a shepherd shows up, the sheep who need tending to will find them.

Busy Istanbul Street

In my early days of this work I did not know any better (which means I had not run myself into the ground yet), I was pretty hard driving. Not wanting to be away from family too much, most of my trips were in the 12-14 day range, max. I had spent the money, the time and traveled all that way, I might as well pack my schedule to the brim. Right?

Well, I now take a more long range view. And a more relational view: The Father desires for us to be responsive to him rather need-driven. 

The Gift of Modeling For Others
There are too few healthy models of life-ministry done in a sustainable manner. The prevailing pattern is to go and go hard for a long time. One gift shepherds can extend to others is modeling a more rhythmic way of going about work. Each of the following tips which I have learned from others and from personal experience can be a means of giving permission to others to live within their limits.

The 2/3rd’s Principle
Please consider the idea of splitting your day up into thirds – morning, afternoon and evening. Try to make appointments during two of those three blocks each day. Of course, there are exceptions. Making this a pattern allows one to have some personal down time for play, rest and renewal. I know I will be fresh early in the trip, but I want to have something to give people at the end of my trip too.

Keep Your Sabbath
Even on shorter trips, it is wise to keep a Sabbath.  Their is the biblical reason: we do our work out of a delight in the Lord. Sabbath is a day to delight ourselves in him. That single day informs the other six days. There is also the modeling reason: too many workers do not take Sabbath seriously and the consequences are dire. You might not find a church to worship in, but you can find a tree or park bench or someplace to be still, rest and be attentive to God.

Buffer Time
After years of international travel I still show up pretty wiped out. So I like to take a day or two  at the front end of the trip to go easy, rest, and do fun stuff. I love wandering local markets or taking in any wild scenic areas. This is restorative for me, allows me to work the fogginess out of my head, and settles my heart to be with people.

These are but a few “tricks of the trade” I have gleaned as an itinerant shepherd. How about you? What lessons have you learned along the way that both tends to your long term health as well as models for others? I’d love to learn from you. Thanks!