Five Themes Facilitating Ill Health and Ineffectiveness Amongst Global Workers: Theme #4 Identity Attached to Role and Performance

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This is the fourth in a series of five themes on dynamics that facilitate ill health and ineffectiveness amongst global workers. Here is the original list and links to read on the first three themes:

1. Spiritual Anemia (read hear)
2. Holistic Exhaustion (read here)
3. Relationships in Crisis (read here)
4. Identity Attached to Role and Performance
5. Lack of Permission for Self-development and Self-care

I was sitting with a younger man who had until recently been an internationally-based field leader for an organization. Due to various organizational changes, his role was terminated. He was lost, disoriented. These are normal symptoms of transition. However, a deeper element surfaced when he blurted out, “Now that I am not working overseas, I do not know who I am.”

I have heard similar statements numerous times. Stripped of roles and responsibilities people express a deep loss of identity. Explored a little further, there is more than change and transition taking place. There is a revealing of misplaced identity. This is an extremely normal dynamic. People are labeled by such exterior elements as roles, possessions, accomplishments, and looks. Performance based recognition. We do it to one another and we do it to ourselves. It’s so natural it might seem odd to point it out.

How does this effect our efforts? Well, we spend so much of our emotional energies trying to prove ourselves to ourselves and others that we lose sight of greater purposes. When someone takes “my role and responsibilities”, I get possessive. We can tend to not share resources. We often do not work well together. Its about me,  my organization, and my strategies. Of course, it requires a very high self-awareness to see this about ourselves. For most it is a blindspot – not seen by us, but clearly experienced by others.

Our identity is easily misplaced. And as long as we are seeking to bolster a misplaced identity, we will continue to look for it in the wrong places. It seems that there is an inordinate amount of people in full-time Christian ministry for too many of the wrong reasons. Many of these reasons are simply over-spiritualized and remain highly unhealthy.

There is a simple and profound reality for those who have trusted Christ. Adoption is the core of our identity. This is not mere spiritualizing on the subject. This is the ultimate of realities. Until we see ourselves fundamentally, first and foremost, as an adopted son or daughter, we will struggle with this dynamic of identity.

J. I. Packer argues, “If you want to judge how well a person understands Christianity, find out how much he makes of the thought of being God’s child, and having God as his Father (Knowing God, p. 201).”

God is our Father. We are his sons and daughters. This truth is fraught with mounds of theological and practical implications. Often the New Testament authors speak of believers as sons – not mentioning daughters. This is not first century gender indifference. The word “son” is intentionally used to convey significant theological truth.  As a son, we have all that the Son has. The Father loves each of us with the same love as an adopted “son” that he extends to the Son (John 17:26). We are adopted, thus heirs. We are his, thus possessed and protected. How much do you make of being God’s child?

The deeper our hearts open up to this reality, the more we see our self-absorbed demand for others’ validation melting away. It simply does not matter anymore. Yes, we can take our current roles and responsibilities seriously. Yet, as we mature, we will not be so white-knuckled with them. We can be much more open-handed, not worrying what others think of us. If we are removed from our current position, we can remind ourself that the position was given to us from a caring Father in the fist place. We can look to him to provide whatever will be needed next. There is no need for clamoring or demanding. Yes, there is a season of disorienting change. But in the end, he will provide all for his children.

In what ways do you see your identity misplaced? Are you able to put words to or even name those false sources of identity? This is a crucial area of self-awareness. Write them out. God already knows. He wants us to see them as well, that he may set each of us free.

Take some time and read through the Gospel of John carefully. Take note of how Jesus describes his relationship with the Father. It is mentioned in nearly every chapter of the book – repeatedly. Being the Son of God is a big deal to Jesus. Indeed, it is his core identity. He is not Savior of the world first. He is the beloved Son of the Father first. Then compare how Jesus describes the Father and Son’s relationship to us. Amazing! I am now a beloved son – first and foremost. Everything else falls into place.

May you be encouraged over the coming months (and years!) to ask God to help you grasp the truth of your own adoption. Ask him to make it the most important reality in your life. Ask him to teach you how to commune with him. You are much more than what you do. You are how God sees you. You are His own child.

Shepherds: This is our core message as we shepherd others. Again and again we have the opportunity to bring the central truth of adoption to those we care for. We are a forgetful lot. We need reminding constantly. As Jerry Bridges of Navs reminds us, preach the gospel every where you go – especially to believers!

Resources:
Gospel of John
Life in the Trinity Donald Fairbairn
Delighting in the Trinity Micheal Reeves
The above quote from J. I. Packer was taken from Knowing God
theologynetwork.org

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A Shepherd’s Shout Out!

A Shout Out is an occasional drawing attention to a resource worthy of looking into.

Potter’s Inn is offering amazing services to people from all over the world in the form of soul care. Check out their website for a complete list of their offerings. Steve and Gwen Smith and the entire team are wondrous shepherd’s of others souls.

I’d especially like to draw your attention to their Soul Care Institute. PI is describing this as “a two to three year informational and formational experience dedicated to training, renewing and educating men and women who are vocationally involved in the care of people.  The first two years of the Institute will focus on the foundational principles of soul care, while the third year will include the option to pursue training in one of the following four tracks: Member Care, Senior Leadership, Spiritual Direction or Para-church.”

Check it out. The first cohort begins Fall 2015.

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Five Themes Facilitating Ill Health and Ineffectiveness Amongst Global Workers: Theme #3 Relationships in Crisis

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This is the third in a series of five themes on dynamics that facilitate ill health and ineffectiveness amongst global workers. Here is the original list and links to read the first two:

1. Spiritual Anemia (read hear)
2. Holistic Exhaustion (read here)
3. Relationships in Crisis
4. Identity attached to role and performance
5. Lack of permission for self-development and self-care

Relationships in Crisis
The first two themes in this series have dealt with spiritual deficiency and exhaustion. These dynamics deplete us. Throw in stress and the normal daily hassles of life and something will have to give. We have observed that under such prolonged duress we begin to break down spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Relationships begin to break too. Stress fractures begin to appear in relationships. Left unattended, those small seams split open into painful canyons between us and those around us.

Do you remember the massive bridge collapse in Minneapolis several years ago? People were simply commuting along in life when suddenly the entire infrastructure of the bridge gave way. People’s lives were lost that day. There had been no major accident or earthquake. Small stress fractures grew into major structural compromises until it all came tumbling down. That is a painful illustration of what can happen in relationships when unresolved conflict and misunderstandings are not leaned into with intentionality. Marriages break and kids are deeply wounded. Teams dissolve. People lose out on the opportunity to witness the love of Christ expressed in mercy and forgiveness between others. This need not be.

All too often in our work we encounter couples living in an atmosphere of stoney silence. In public they appear fine, if one does not look too closely. But at home, it’s like a deep freeze. Some parents find their children distancing themselves. Ministry teams have a list of unresolved conflicts. Staff lose trust in leadership. Of course, this can happen anywhere.  But when the context is within the outrageous demands of life and work cross-culturally, everything is compounded. The level of unresolved conflict – whether mild and under the surface or extreme and public is astounding. We are “nice” to each other but will not honor one another by speaking openly, honestly, and with maturity. We are masters at being passive-aggressive and practicing triangulation.

Again, this need not be.

“By this they will know that the Father sent me, that you love one another.” Isn’t this the greatest challenge and opportunity?

Here are a few brief, maybe obvious, suggestions. As always, the list is not comprehensive. And it has to be stated that these situations can be very complex and require effort beyond merely extending forgiveness, for example. However, these following suggestions implemented will head off a lot of relational pain.
1. Take care of yourself. This may seem counterintuitive. It is not selfish. We cannot care and lead others if we cannot or will not self-care and self-lead. I cannot give away that which I do not have. Too many of us are still carrying around baggage from younger years. If I feel like God is always angry with me, how can I be merciful to others? If I am not acutely experiencing God’s love and care for me, what do I have to extend to another? Many of us can seek out formal counseling for these deep, life-long wounds. The point here is that my life can be an overflow of the love, grace and mercy from God. But I must receive first. Tend to you own “stuff” rather than pick at someone else about theirs (Jesus addresses this with the “log and splinter” analogy). Seek intentionally for God to mature and deepen you and you will have much to bring to all your relationships.  And how do you steward your own heart – do you relate to yourself well? Are you gracious with yourself?

Do not cease to grow in your own self-awareness, spiritual depth, emotional intelligence, and relational skills. In the end these are all fancy phrases for “loving well” – which is the greatest command. Some resources are listed at the end of this article.

2. Be deliberate in tending to your core relationships: spouse, children, friends, teammates – whoever fits into this category of core relationships for you. If you do not have the time or energy for this, see previous entries in this series. Spouses court one another. Parents pursue and listen to your kids. Make time for friends.  How many spouses and TCK/MK’s are out there who feel they are second in line to “missional strategies?”

3. Deal with unresolved conflict. I know, its scary. I learned some time ago that conflict will not kill me. Painful? Yes. Certain death? Not required. Our unresolved conflict is eating the heart out of the gospel’s power. People do not want to see slick programs. The world is dying to witness love. Teams, please get “it” on the table and talk about “it”, whatever “it” is. If you are carrying something in your heart, no matter how small you think it is, go and talk about it. Make this top priority. Do not put “it” off any more. Confess. Apologize. Forgive. Forgive, again. And again.
If you need some help, that is not unusual. Ask for someone to come alongside to help. That is not a sign of weakness, it is wisdom.

4. Being a leader is big these days. But the greater work is being a follower. Followership is too lightly treated. We are all followers first. If I cannot submit to authority I will likely mishandle any authority granted me (like parenting or team leading). How is your followership these days? Are you following close to Jesus? Are you making it easy for the leaders in your life to lead or are they groaning in their spirits (see Hebrews 13:17)? Leading cross-culturally today is one of the most complex tasks in the world. Be gracious to positional leaders in your life. If you are a leader, see #1. You cannot lead people well if you cannot self-lead well. Here is an article recently published by TalentSmart titled “Why Your Boss Lacks Emotional Intelligence.” Organizational leaders ought regularly to take a glance over their shoulder. What is the relational wake you are leaving? Is it one of people tended to, heard, cared for, and empowered? Or are there people who are afraid of failure, feeling unknown and unheard, and others who are simply angry because of another “policy” being upheld as if it is more important than their unique circumstances?

5. Humble thyself. The Bible does not instruct us to pray for humility. It instructs us to be humble. Humility is a choice. Unforgiveness is not wise. Passive-aggressive styles of relating are not acceptable. Holding grudges is not being like our Father in heaven. “Forgive, even as you have been forgiven by God in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 4:32).” Ask God for mercy and move  toward others with the humility of one forgiven-one to another.

The greatest work we do is loving others. If I am a linguistic expert and do not love….You know where this goes…

Fight for others. Fight for your marriage, your kids, your team, your community, your friends. That is what Jesus did for us. Jesus told us that this alone can have the effect of causing people to know him: “If you love one another…..”

Shepherds: How are your relationships? Again, we cannot lead people where we have not gone ourselves. If your marriage is thin, you will not be able to tend to others in their marriage. That goes for singles, parents, or  teammates. How is your followership? As you tend to others take courage and lean into these areas in other’s lives. Do not assume that what is presented is the whole (or real) picture. It is not nosey to ask someone about their core relationships. It is caring to do so. Remember, Jesus is who we all need all the time. Bring Jesus to people and people to Jesus.

Resources:
Peter Scazzerro Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: You cannot be Spiritually Mature and Remain Emotionally Immature
Bradberry and Reeves Emotional Intelligence 2.0
Henry Cloud Integrity
peacemaker.net

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2014 Annual Reading List

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Here is a partial annual reading list – an annotated list of books read in 2014.

Once again, the author I strongly encourage you to be reading is Michael Reeves. His Delighting in the Trinity is having a profound impact on those who have the spiritual/biblical/theological capacity to grasp the central reality of the Trinity in all things. He just came out with another title: Christ Our Life. See my review of this book below. Though these titles may sound like theological heavies, these books are engaging and deeply encouraging. You will be enriched by Reeves. Buy lots of copies and give them away. Brilliant stuff, this (Reeves is a Brit).

Why read books? Books are one of the readily reachable fruits God has provided for our on-going transformation into the image of Christ. And why allow God to work such transformation in us? The more we are like Christ, the more we will grow in capacity to know the love of the Father, receive that love, grow in that love, and allow that love to overflow from us to the world around us. Of course, not all reads facilitate that, but the redeemed mind utilizing a solid biblical grid can find truth and beauty in most everything. So, read on.

As always, I am eager to hear from you about recommended reads from all genres. Thanks in advance.

Feel free to pass this onto whomever you think will find it helpful. Please do not publish any part of this without asking first. Thanks. And mind you, I did not pester my editor (that would be my wife) to proofread this – all typos are my bad. Enjoy!

Scott E. Shaum 
December 2014

Spiritual Formation/Growth
Christ Our Life Michael Reeves
Reeves is at it again with his delightful writing style. He has a knack for taking profound, eternal truths and making them comprehendible. As I read his books it feels as if Truth is literally oozing into my deepest being (remember, Truth is a Person). Really wonderful. Jesus Christ is our life. He is not merely an aspect of our Christian faith. He is not a subject to be discussed, talked at, analyzed, debated, nor offered to others like candy at trick-or-treat time. He is our life. He is Life. Life is a Person. Reeves does a wonderful job of helping us grasp that central reality. THIS IS A MUST READ. (Note: at this time this book is only released in the UK. You can obtain it via Amazon for minimal shipping or direct from http://bookdepository.com in the UK, free shipping. The price comes out the same from either source. It will eventually be released in the US in print and, likely, kindle versions, though I do not know when).

Reading the Christian Spiritual Classics: A Guide for Evangelicals Edited by Jamin Goggin & Kyle Strobel
On the subject of spiritual life we have access to so many authors with such varied theological backgrounds. Some of these are the ancient fathers of our faith like Augustine. Others are contemporary. How do we know what to readily absorb and what to screen out as we read from catholic, orthodox, and protestant authors? Noggin and Strobel’s book is a profoundly helpful resource to answer just that question. The book has contributions from numerous authors looking at different periods of church history. Each time period in the church’s history offers key contributions to our understanding of spiritual truth. And each age has its liabilities, as do the authors from those various ages and contexts. This book assists us in knowing what to be cautious of and what to readily receive. More than that, there are several chapters that provide a biblical grid so that we can develop our own discernment skills. I found this book to be of extreme help. I have provided a small summation from one chapter at the end of this reads list. I highly recommend this as a resource to aid in discernment as you read widely in the field of spirituality. (By the way Keith Strobel has a number of intriguing titles out that I want to look into. If you have personally read any, I’d be much obliged to hear your thoughts.)

Weakness Is the Way: Life with Christ Our Strength J. I. Packer
This is one of those towards-the-end-of-life reflections from a man who has taught the word and theology for decades. When someone of Packer’s caliber writes, one wants to pay attention. Packer picks up Paul’s theme in 2 Corinthians of Christ through our weakness. This is a wonderful, small, reflective book.

Sabbath as Resistance Walter Brueggemann
Bruegemann is a theologian that is a prolific writer. This work looks as Sabbath as a resistance to the world’s lies, particularly our consumeristic culture that has permeated every facet of life (including each of our personal faith journeys – whether we realize it or not, this is simply a reality of faith lived out in North American context). This book will aid in grasping a deeper outlook on the practice of Sabbath. The Sabbath is so much more than merely than a day we go to church and don’t work. Oh, there is so much more.

The Sabbath Abraham Heschel
Heschel is a non-Christ following Jew. Thus, this book is written from a Jewish perspective. Some of his insights into the OT are profound as he brings his Jewish heritage to bear on the subject. At the same time there is a clear void as Christ is missing from his discussion. No Christ, no life – and no complete grasp of truth. Yet, there are some keen insight in this book. I’d only recommend this book to those who are looking to grasp a more well rounded insight into the topic of Sabbath.

(Another Sabbath resource: Lynn Baab’s Keeping Sabbath is one of the most applicable, easy to read, user friendly book on the subject. Lots of helps and practical ideas for practicing sabbath, even with a young family).

Visions of Vocation Steven Garber
This is the first of Garber’s books I have read. He is clearly a well connected person as he mentions famous person after famous person he has personally engaged. Some of his questions are very profound and worthy of lengthy pondering. The central question he engages in this work is “when we know the world (i.e. how hard and brutal and unforgiving a place it can be), how do we still love it?” This question is repeated throughout the book. Our vocation (more than merely our job) is how we love the world as we display God in our relationships and efforts. I found the book wordy and repetitive. I think it a worthy read, but not on the top of my list.

Invitations from God: Accepting God’s Offer to Rest, Weep, Forgive, Wait, Remember and More Adele Ahlberg Calhoun
Calhoun approaches painful circumstances of life as invitations. What is God’s invitation to me when I lose my job? Receive a scary diagnosis? Lose a loved one? Her style is highly reflective and in some places very penetrating. Her questions to leaders on being a follower caused me some long pauses. This is well written book. I highly recommend it, for all of us have and will face painful life experiences. How we steward these painful life experiences is a key element of a mature human being living in an oft painful world. Remember, the key question to ponder is not “why” but rather “how” – as in, “Father, how do you want me to steward this painful experience and how can I walk well with you in it?” Those “how” questions will lead to Life. Calhoun’s book engages our hearts and minds in this wise direction. I strongly encourage you to read this in the coming year.

Unwrapping the Greatest Gift: A Family Celebration of Christmas Ann Voskamp
This is a family book, written and beautifully illustrated for all ages. Each day there are roughly three pages to read from this large formatted, colorful book with beautiful artwork. At the end there are a few reflective questions and some exercises the family could do together. I am enjoying it. Voskamp is the author of the best selling One Thousand Gifts and a very poetic writer. This is a great book to read with children, young ones and old ones alike.

Leadership
The Advantage Patrick Lencioni
I have long been a Lencioni fan. He is unpretentious and his counsel is highly people- focused. This title is a culmination of his numerous other works. I found it extremely helpful in reviewing my own organization’s culture and organizational health. If you have an influential role in your organization or team and can stomach a long, reflective look at whatever ill health (i.e. organizational dysfunction) exists – for every entity has some level of ill-health – this is an extremely practical resource. I highly recommend this book.

Pope Francis Chris Lowney
I have read several of Lowney’s books. He is a former Jesuit novate that was in the Ignatian preparation system for 7 years (normally last 10 years) before he realized it was not for him. He then entered the world of finance where he was a managing director for JP Morgan in many of their international offices. His earlier book entitled Heroic Leadership was a great read (I do not recommend his title Heroic Living). In this current title he describes what makes Pope Francis tick. Again and again, the current Pope has rocked the catholic world with strong callings to personal humility and keen service to the poor. He has no tolerance for those in the church who seek to move up the ecclesiastical ladder and use their position for personal gain. The Pope seems to be on a mission to undo much of the bureaucracy that is found in the catholic church and call all those in its clergy ranks from the cardinals to bishops to priest to go out into the streets, “get their feet dirty” and serve the poor of this world. Lowney outlines the central tenets of Ignatian spirituality and how they can provide a framework for the modern leader to live and make decisions from a solid, value-driven reference. These values are what causes Pope Francis to avoid the plush papal apartment for a smaller flat, ride in compact cars rather than limos, and wash the feet of juvenile delinquents. This service-oriented quality is desperately needed in this day as leaders are seen as people who use their position for personal gain at the cost of those “under” them. Its my opinion that Heroic Leadership is Lowney’s best work to date. I’d read that book first. IF you want more than you can read this current title.

The Trust Edge David Horsager
Horsager has written this in a format for business use while clearly using biblical principles as a Christ follower. The book is a bit rudimentary but, that being said, much of what Horsager writes is not practiced in the Christian organizations I service. Trust is difficult to gain and easy to lose. Most global workers I work with simply do not trust their leadership. I am amazed at how “nice” we are to each other yet have no inherent trust. This is worth referencing, especially if you have influence in your workplace or church. How can you help build a culture of grace and trust?

Ministry Skills/Topics
Forming the Leader’s Soul: An Invitation to Spiritual Direction Morris Dirks
Dirks is one who clearly has experienced the ill effects of the unhealthy pressures the evangelical sub-culture places on leaders. Please note that truth alone. I repeat it: The Evangelical world places profound unhealthy pressures on its personnel – both church and para-church organizations. In the first couple of chapters Dirks does a masterful job of describing these unhealthy pressures at both a macro/systemic level and at a personal/self-inflicted level. That diagnosis is worth the book alone. My only disappointment with the book is the chapter I was most intrigued to read which was addressing biblical support of the practice of spiritual direction. He seems to confuse terms in an effort to make certain passages connect. I think one can provide strong biblical argument for the role of having spiritual guides in one’s life without forcing the terminology. The second half of the book is a summation of Ignatian spirituality and the role a spiritual director plays within this framework. Again, he does a great job in this summation. I for one am a trained spiritual director, provide this service for others, and have a spiritual director with whom I seek to meet with monthly. The role of a spiritual director, when practiced from a Christocentric and biblical orientation, is an invaluable source of counsel and clarity. In a field that is primarily authored by catholic brothers and sisters, here is a resource by a fellow protestant that is worthy of your time. And if you are a leader, please seek out consistent counsel whether a spiritual director or other source – someone older, wiser and outside your context. The complexities of leading in ministry is profound and cannot be navigated alone. We need multiple advisors.

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert Rosaria Champagne Butterfield
Butterfield was a professor and outspoken, practicing lesbian. She was often profoundly offended by Christians and the way they treated the LGBT community. Then she came to Christ and her whole life exploded. This is a telling book. Why is the church so judgmental??? We are to love people, not tell them why they are wrong. Butterfield story of her conversion is fascinating. She provides a rare glimpse into the LGBT world. However, I found that as the book went on she was as opinionated about her Christian denominational/doctrinal views as she originally was about her LBGT views. Still, with this topic becoming the central topic in the Evangelical world, we need to get ourselves up to speed (at least I do). One public speaker I recently heard said it is only a matter of time before there is a gay, evangelical missions sending agency. That makes sense as there are churches of that flavor currently. Jesus mingled with tax-collectors and prostitutes. Who would he have us mingle with? Butterfield helps us see that those in the LGBT community are people just like us, to be loved just as God has loved us.

Appendix: Reading Spiritual Classics and Contemporary Authors in the Spiritual Formation Genre with an Evangelical Framework (i.e. Trinitarian, Christocentric, Biblical framework).

A 5 Point Grid to read spiritual books through:
Scripture is the only rule of faith and practice, the only test of truth, only judge of controversy.
Hold to the doctrine of sinfulness and corruption of the human heart. In other words, our corruption from sin is complete, we cannot purify ourselves. We are in absolute need of a Savior. Some items to watch for is “purgation” theology that expresses we can become purified or more like Christ through self-affliction or self-discipline. We cannot redeem ourselves.
Hold to the work and office of Jesus Christ for salvation. Not Jesus + my efforts, my practices, my right thinking and/or acting. Jesus’ work on the cross alone saves us.
We are totally dependent on the inward work of the Holy Spirit for redemption and transformation. Again, its not the Spirit helping me as I work real hard at life. I am utterly dependent.
We are totally dependent on the outward work of the Holy Spirit to accomplish any deeds of righteousness (i.e. ministry acts of any kind).

These five points are not to only be taught, but emphasized; they are to be the first truths to arrest our attentions. They are to be the main focus.
“The Gospel is very easily spoiled – add or remove a single element and it is spoiled.” R. C. Ryle
Christ cannot be set aside from the main line of vision and something else put in his place (i.e. prayer, actions, the end times, whatever). The substitute is usually something good, even biblical. This is called “interposition.” Christ is to be our main focus.
Also be cautious of “disproportion.” This is attaching an exaggerated importance to a secondary element of Christianity. For example, Evangelicals often tend to emphasis eschatology (end times or the return of Christ) and physical healing out of proportion to Scriptural proportions. Keep the central truths central.
Be cautious of confused and contradictory directions – there is much confusion about the role of sacraments (i.e. sacraments do not purify us, the work of Christ on the cross does) and even faith (i.e. do not place faith in your faith rather faith is to be placed in a Person – God), etc. I hear people say, “There is power in prayer”. What is meant by that? Does it mean if I pray the right things, the right way and forcefully enough then something happens? Is prayer a magic incantation? Do my prayers have power or does God have power? Can we manipulate God with our prayers? We are children who come to a caring Father and lay our needs and desires before him. He is wise and kind and will do for us what he knows is best. We ask, he responds as he sees best.
Generally speaking, Orthodoxy (the Eastern church) and Roman Catholicism do not give the five above elements prominence. They will teach on these topics, but often poorly and often pointing to other practices or traditions in their place. This is a major difference from Evangelical, Protestant Christian doctrine. And it is not semantics nor a minor issue. It is important to be precise in our terminology. Preciseness is not legalism, it is wisdom and truth and it protects and guides. Mind you, this does not mean those in the Orthodox or Catholic church do not walk with God. See point 3 at the top of this page. Jesus saves, not having every theological iota accurate.
As you read books from authors of various backgrounds, you can use the above 5 point grid as a guide. Many books have wonderful truths to offer. However, they can also become disproportionate in a particular practice or bring a specific action into the primary view point distracting from our central focus in Jesus and his work for us.
Read widely and read with charity and generosity. If anyone of us is aware of truth, that is a grace, not of our own acquisition. There is no room for spiritual pride, superiority, or ungraciousness.

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Five Themes Facilitating Ill Health and Ineffectiveness Amongst Global Workers: Theme #2 Total Exhaustion

UnknownFeeling a Little Like this Lately?

One of the gifts of  engaging so many people from so many regions of the world is observing consistent themes. One of the themes that is always observed is exhaustion. No matter where we are, the people we tend to are flat out exhausted.

By exhaustion I do not merely mean that these folks are in transition or are simply jet-lagged and need a good vacation. That is often true. But this exhaustion runs much deeper than that. This is a level of exhaustion that is years in the making. Like a chilled, winter fog, the fatigue has crept into every crevice of their lives – physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally, and professionally.

How does such exhaustion come about? Well, let’s remind ourselves of some of the complexities and demands of cross-cultural life and work. First, let’s consider stress. The number of stressors is immense. Financial, relational, professional, security/safety concerns, lack of effectiveness, profound effectiveness, transportation, pollution, weather…..we are duly reminded that there is much that pulls on us. Second, there are the emotional whiplashes we experience in our present communications. In a matter of moments, for example, one can be rejoicing that a long-time friend has trusted Christ and suddenly word reaches us that another car bomb rocked the market place today. We have no time to celebrate the one, let alone grieve the other. Life comes at us so fast via social media, the news, and emails. Technology robs us of lingering time to process all of these emotional rocks in the ponds of our souls, let alone the resulting ripples. Our emotional lives are pushed and pulled constantly and we seldom take the time to reflect and process what we have experienced in solitude and with a wise friend. This leads to, third, a build-up of losses that have not been named and thus, not grieved. The global “community” is a mobile one.  Colleagues and friends move away. Roles, organizational leadership and strategies are often changing. Major life events come and go with hardly an acknowledgement. I could go on listing more causes of exhaustion. I have merely listed three. The constant flow of stress, the emotional whiplash of a blazing fast world, and the accumulations of losses is plenty to make anyone tired. I feel tired just writing about it.

Accumulation is also an impactful reality. Year after year we have a back log of life experiences that have not been tended to, grieved, celebrated, honored, named, or pondered. They have simply flown by side-swiping us, like some sort of chronic hit and run dynamic. We are left bruised, battered, and flustered. And exhausted. We learn well how to keep our heads down and plow on in order to keep going and getting our job done.

Sometimes the deepest conversations we have with global workers will start with a mere question and the tears begin to flow. Then those tears, if permitted, will flow for days. This accumulation of life experiences finally has a safe place to surface.

Often during more extended gatherings (several days at a retreat, a personal debriefing, etc.), the longer we sit the more tired we begin to feel.  What causes this dynamic? I sense it is the adrenalin settling in our systems. We are bolstered by our adrenal system to get us through another day or another demanding situation when there is no “gas in the tank.” We think we are Spirit-dependent. I wonder if we are mostly just adrenalin junkies. In the unconscious response of putting our heads down and plowing on, our systems compensate with adrenalin to keep us upright and moving ahead. It is an unhealthy reality. We are going deep into debt and one day we will have to pay up. That is when depression, panic attacks, rage, fear, or a chronic health problem paralyzes us and we are side-lined for some time. We are not invincible. When our systems are over-loaded, the breakdown is only a matter of time.

So what to do? Well, this could get messier before it gets better. I offer 6 ideas to get you started.

First, we have to cease taking cues from the world and begin to fix our gaze more intently on Jesus. This is not a mere spiritual bandaid. Jesus modeled for us how to live in a world strewn with needs and yet not be driven by those demands. Jesus was not need-driven. He was responsive to his Father’s love. He was never in a rush, never hurried, never harried. We can learn of him. Matthew 11:28-30 are well known verses (“my yoke is easy”). I have seldom heard what is meant by that yoke. I wrote of this in a previous blog (you can read it here). Our central truth is our relationship with the Father in Christ by the Spirit. Our core identity is that we are adopted sons and daughters. We are invited to be responsive to the Father’s love, not the demands of the world around us. As we grow in this dynamic, our lives will come into focus. Read Michael Reeves Delighting in the Trinity as a primer on the truth of the relationship God is inviting us to. To the degree this central reality does not penetrate our world, is the degree we will continue to be pulled along by whatever rip-tides we find ourselves standing amidst.

Second, we have to slow down. We simply demand too much of ourselves (and our kids and our spouses and our peers and our subordinates and our supervisors….). Entire books are written on this subject, some listed below. Here is one simple practice that will help: reflection.  I would suggest that every week at least a 1/2 day is taken to sit over a cup of coffee and ponder some questions, like:
What feelings have I been experiencing this week? Why?
How have I been responding? Why?
What has the Father spoken to me about this week?
What from the Word has caught my attention?
What fears are influencing me?
Where am I responding well to life? Where not so well?
Have I been sitting still, quietly with God to allow him to tend to me, care for me, nourish me? Why/why not?

Come up with your own list of questions to prompt you. Also, find a counselor or mentor or spiritual guide to call upon at least once a month. This is not for professional coaching. This is for personal processing. ALL of us need counselors in our lives. Many of us would gain from engaging a clinical counselor. This can be a wise investment of time and money. Consider it, please.

Third, take Sabbath seriously. I mean guard it (almost) fanatically. Choose one day a week and shut it all down. Shabot does not mean rest. It means cease. Yes, cease and desist from anything that smells of work. No email (I know, I know, you already have the shakes. You can do it!). No phone calls. No allowing your mind to wander to solving the latest problems of life. On Sabbath our primary focus is to delight ourselves in the Lord. We do that in community, in rest, in play, in eating and drinking, in blessing and worshipping, in sleeping and lounging. If you have a young family, make it a fun day; a day different than any other day. No legalism allowed.

Fourth, take a vacation. I mean really, just take it already. Get over yourself. The kingdom will not come to a grinding halt without you. If you will not take vacation time (or honor Sabbath) then that is a good measurement of how significantly your identity is tied to what you do, rather than being an adopted child of the Father. Let go of the reigns, set yourself aside for some time, go outside and play for a while.

Fifth, take good care of yourself. You know, all that stuff you learned in kindergarten about eating, taking a nap, sharing and taking a recess (remember those?).

Sixth, develop yourself. Read books. Attend a retreat. Learn a new skill or hobby. Invest time and money in yourself. That is not selfish. It is wise stewardship. This investment will overflow toward others.

I do not mean to be overly simplistic but honestly, I am meeting so many people who have lost focus in life that the implementation of these simple ideas can revolutionize a walk with God, a marriage, or a career.

Seriously, we are exhausted. You know you are called to lay your lives down for others. But do you even have a life to lay down? Or are you so thin, so depleted, so worn that your life looks more like a thread bare-piece of cloth? Are people receiving the fumes of your exhaustion or the overflow of your vibrancy in the resurrected Christ? These are not simple questions. They will take some time to consider and to live into.

In the end, this chronic depletion is hindering our efforts at kingdom objectives – let alone being a friend, spouse, parent or teammate. We are not living within our limits and we are dying because of it. Sometime over the next week, take a couple of hours and do some lingering evaluation of your life. How do you want to live? Make some hard choices.

A Reflection for Shepherds: How is your own self-care? How low are your tanks? Sheep need a shepherd who is not exhausted him/herself. By taking good care of yourself, you are can take good care of others. Again, modeling is one of the best gifts we can provide. In your care of others, ask pointed questions about their emotional, physical, spiritual, and relational worlds. Be quick with encouragement, hope, and resources. Do not hesitate to refer to another professional. Above all else, bring Jesus to others and others to Jesus. In the end, he is the vine. We all must be abiding in him.

Resources:
Michael Reeves Delighting in the Trinity (see a short review here)
Lynn Baab Sabbath Keeping
Archibald Hart Adrenaline and Stress
Steven Smith The Lazarus Life and The Jesus Life

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Five Themes Facilitating Ill Health and Ineffectiveness Amongst Global Workers: Theme #1 Spiritual Anemia

© Scott E. Shaum 2014

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The next 5 posts will address one of 5 themes I am seeing on a very consistent basis that lead to ill health (emotional, spiritual, relational, physical, etc.) and ineffectiveness. These themes are restricted to the arena of shepherding global workers. Of course, there are other issues that are of concern as well, such as field leaders being under-resourced and trained, poor team cultures, and inadequate ministry skills. These topics will focus on 5 themes related to holistic health which of course impacts effectiveness in missional objectives.

The 5 themes are:
1. Spiritual Anemia
2. Holistic Exhaustion
3. Relationships in Crisis
4. Identity attached to role and performance
5. Lack of permission for self-development and self-care

This post will address the first theme, that of spiritual anemia.

Anemia is defined as lacking power, vigor, vitality; listless. This is a startling, but all too accurate picture of many, many global workers’ spiritual life. Again and again when I ask people about how they maintain vitality I receive vague answers about exercise or going to a local fellowship – if that is an option. It seems all too seldom that a profound sense of God’s presence is experienced in other’s lives. This need not be.

What is to often manifested is a spirituality that is woefully insufficient for the vocation of living and working cross-culturally. In our own cultures we are able to create a spiritual life that gets us by. We can dabble in bible study, attend a few small groups, pray on the run, attend Sunday services and have hoards of resources at our disposal from radio programs to conferences. We know how to survive in the familiar environs of our home country. When we move to a new culture, however, the demands of life and work quickly begin to outstrip that level of spirituality. We suddenly find ourselves in a place where even the most mundane of activities cause high stress – like buying groceries or merely commuting. These stressors are everywhere and unrelenting. Further, the spiritual environment is usually resistant to our faith. We begin to experience spiritual resistance and often times outright attack. We can get by for a while but eventually the well will run dry. Then the confusion sets in. We can’t understand where God has gone, why we feel so disoriented, and why life feels so overwhelming and confusing.

Ponder this question: Is your spirituality sufficient for your vocation?

Let me define terms working backwards. Vocation comes from the Latin vocare. The closest English word that gets the gist is “calling”. Our vocation is all-encompassing of our various roles and relationships. So, for example, my vocation consists of being a child of the Living God, a husband, a father, a friend to many, a shepherd, a teacher, a leader in an organization, on and on. These are all expressions of who God has created and redeemed me to be. This is my vocation. By sufficient I do not merely mean good enough to get by. Rather we are seeking  breadth, depth, and a quality of practice that facilitates deepening  relationship, personal nourishment, and on-going formation. And we think way too categorically in the Evangelical world regarding our spiritual life. We slice our world up into our devotional life and work life and family life and personal time and those worlds may or may not interconnect. What does a spirituality look like that encompasses all of life, all day long? This is a question to answer very individually as we are all in extremely different contexts. There will be no simple formulaic answers here. Be encouraged to convert these questions into prayers and see how God begins to shape practices in you.

Some more questions for you:
How is your biblical literacy? Typically it is way too low amongst grassroots workers.
How much time are you spending weekly in true biblical study – digging in and learning and being fed?
What is your capacity to commune with God? By that I mean, simply sit with him, enjoy his presence, allow him to tend to you, renew and nourish you?
How do you experience the realities of being loved by your Father and being his personally chosen, adopted child? Is this your core, motivating identity or is that tied to other elements?
How do you facilitate attentiveness and responsiveness to God throughout your entire day no matter where you are or what you are doing?
Who do you have as mentor, coach, spiritual guide and/or spiritual director with whom you speak at least monthly?
How often do you take a day of prayer and solitude?
How often do you attend an event where you are primarily receiving input into your own vitality and growth?
If any or all of these questions feel overwhelming, simply take note of that impact and start small. But definitely start somewhere. Ask God to teach you, he has promised in his word that he will do just that.

A brilliant quote from Morris Dirks: “If you are failing to feed your soul, while at the same time you are handling sacred responsibilities, the disconnect will finally become too much.” Marriage, singleness, parenting, language learning, being a teammate, leading others, being a friend – these are but a few “sacred responsibilities” we might be carrying.

The bottom line is this: living cross-culturally requires a higher level of spiritual intake (and other forms of self-care I will mention in the next post) than living in our own culture. Anemia is deadly. What people in the world need to experience is not a well-oiled team or a slick program. Anyone can do that. What they need is the Risen Jesus Christ. Either he is overflowing from your own topped-off well or not. Not much latitude there. We need much more time in the Word, in solitude and prayer, in personal reflection, in rest, in reading books that stimulate us, in seeking counsel from others and a lot less time numbing ourselves on the web or other entertainments or pure, frenetic busyness. Nothing wrong with those realities in and of themselves. But they will not nourish our souls to the point that we will thrive. Let me state it again – we need a lot more time nourishing ourselves spiritually. Do you feel guilty even thinking about it? Then you are going to have to wrestle with God over that reality. I will speak to the permission dynamic in theme 5.

A few more thoughts to influencers:
Leaders: If you have influence over a group of people then this topic must be a primary concern of yours. The first concern is your own vitality. You cannot lead someone to places you are presently not yourself. If you are spiritually dry, that is the influence you will offer. Modeling for others is a crucial opportunity and responsibility of leaders. Then take the initiative to not only ask the questions listed above, but then to repeatedly give permission and resources to facilitate others’ spiritual vitality. Did I mention repeatedly?

Shepherds: This is your PRIMARY work. Again, first for yourself. You cannot handle the sacred responsibility of shepherding others souls while your own grows thin. People need a living model of how to live and work in communion with the Triune God. Then, ask people questions about their spiritual vitality. Do not let them off the hook if they are vague. Be gentle, gracious and empathetic, but do call them to a deeper communion with God. Many people need coaching and mentoring in this area. They do not know what to do on a day of prayer or in a time of solitude. No one has taught them how to allow God to tend to them, love them and renew them in the complex context of cross-cultural life and work. They might need resources for personal bible study. They may need books. Make this a top-shelf topic every time you speak with others. Shepherd sheep to the pasture that is the Living God.

One more group to address – parents of little ones. If you have children in the home, especially pre-schoolers, an article like this can elicit outright hilarity or maybe scorn. “Vibrant spiritual life? Are you kidding? I am just trying to not kill and eat one of these creatures!” My wife and I raised three boys that were each all boy to the bone. There was always a football scrum in the family room – even in our 700 square foot flat in Asia. But do not give up, it can be done. Be creative. Think outside the box. Tag teaming with a spouse is key. One of you take a 1/2 or entire day alone. Then trade. Do that same routine with another young family in the area – cover the kids for a block of time and trade. One can always train the kids about “quiet time.” Every afternoon have a nap time or post-lunch time to play alone, color, read,  or on rough days even plug ’em into a movie cuz mom needs her own time out in the corner. And definitely keep Sabbath as a family. Also, this is not meant to be trite or overly spiritualistic but the shaping of little souls is one of the greatest spiritual practices God has ever given us to shape our own souls (remember, think outside of boxes and categories – all of life is a practice for walking with God as our hearts are attentive and responsive to him).

Rest in him, he knows right where you are. Do not give up. Be determined to lean into him, he is right there ALWAYS pouring into you. He does not expect us to work harder at this. This is not my initiative here. This is not a self-help effort. He invites us to respond to his redemptive, loving presence and activity in our lives. How are you being responsive today?

Key Resources:
Michael Reeves Delighting in the Trinity and Christ our Life
Peter Scazerro Emotionally Healthy Spirituality
Ruth Haley Barton Spiritual Rhythyms
Eugene Peterson’s older works, you can start with The Contemplative Pastor
Stephen Seamonds Ministry in the Image of God
Moriss Dirks Forming the Leader’s Soul: An Invitation to Spiritual Direction

As always, I’d love your thoughts and ideas. What have you found helpful? How are you mentoring others in this area?

Next post: Theme #2 Holistic Exhaustion.

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What Did Jesus Want us to Learn of Him?

©Scott E. Shaum 2014

IMG_3480 - Version 2Latin: With God, Peace

Matthew 11:28-30 is a well know passage. It is Jesus’ invitation to take on an easy yoke and a light burden, to learn of him.

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

But what are we to learn of Jesus? I am not sure I have heard any specific explanations on this other than admonitions to take on the yoke, whatever that is in today’s practical terms.

I think the key to this is the verses immediately prior to this statement.

“At that time Jesus said, ‘I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do. All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.'”  Matthew 11:25-27

This brings tremendous light to what Jesus is inviting us to. He brings to bear a Trinitarian reality that is essential to this topic. One of  the realties the Father is taking great delight in revealing to those who are willing to stop and see is his heart and relationship with his Son. The only way anyone can know the Father is through the only one who has ever seen the Father (John 1:14) and the only one who knows the Father. That is Jesus, the Son of Father. The Father has committed all of his riches to Jesus (John 3:35) – love, life, authority, etc. This is the nature of our God. He is a Father who loves to lavish abundantly on his Son. But he is not satisfied there. He then sends his Son to us that the Father may impart to us through the Son life and love as well. What is revealed to us through the Son is this Trinitarian communion. And this is what we are invited into. This is what we are to learn of Jesus – communion with the Triune God. This is what can provide rest for us in this wearisome world.

We are not invited into a morbid, lifeless religious system. We are not brought into a relationship with a God who is aloof, indifferent, cold, and vindictive. No, we are invited into the eternal communion of the Father and the Son. This is the yoke that is easy to bear. This is what brings rest to our souls. This world drives us on and on. Our fears and self-determination demands we work more and harder to justify our existence. This is a life of weariness, burden, and fear. Jesus says to learn of him. He is never driven by the needs around him. He is never exhausted from going and going and going. We never see Jesus rushing about overwhelmed by his schedule. He walks a steady pace of watching and listening to his Father. Jesus declared, “The world must learn that I love my Father and only do what he commands me (John 14:31).” Jesus’ eyes were fixed on his Father and his Father is not a hard driving master.

We are encouraged by Jesus to take our cues from him not from business or academic models nor a consumeristic culture that demands bigger and better, much and more. We are invited to learn from the Son how to listen to the Father before we say “yes” to the crying needs of the world.

What does this actually look like? Well, first it is relational, not a program to follow. And like any relationship, it takes time and focus. As I study the word, take walks to enjoy his presence amidst beauty and pray, read books, sit quietly to reflect with God what is coming and going in my life – all of these simple acts lived out in a relational posture toward God, my relationship with God grows. The truth is the Holy Spirit is ever extending an invitation to join in the eternal, loving communion of the Father and the Son. Here are some questions for you to ponder:Am I attentive and responsive to the invitation to commune with God? What simple practices will aid me to learn of Jesus on this matter?

Another consideration is that I am not asked to run out and build my own ministry model which I can manage on my own with a nod toward God for his “wisdom and strength.” I am invited to keep my gaze fixed on the Father and look for him to show we what needs and opportunities to respond to. This is not mere spiritual blather. This is literally what Jesus did and he is literally inviting us to learn from him how to live and work in this world like he did.  God is encouraging us to not exchange mystery in our world of work and relationships for mere self-determining management. This requires prayer, waiting, watching, listening, seeking counsel, and sitting with a spiritual mentor who can aid us to see and hear God. Sometimes this active waiting can be for periods of time longer than we like. We are not after a limited, “perfect” will of God – as if there is just one right decision for every choice in life and I mess it up I miss it. But it is determining to not follow business or consumer models of living life and ministry.  One way Jesus’ burden is light is that it is not all up to me. To take on his yoke and light burden is to watch him more than the screaming needs around us. Being responsive to God and not reactionary to the demands of the world is what makes for “rest in our souls” as we go about life.

What further applications do you see to this truth? How is God inviting you to learn of the Son and grow in attentiveness to the Trinitarian pattern for life and ministry? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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How Personal Risk Deeply Reflects God’s Nature

© Scott E. Shaum 2014

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Was it worth it?

In 2005 I had been in remote Cambodia providing some much needed pastoral care and counsel to a multi-national church planting team. The small city where they were working clung to the banks of the Mekong River not too far from the Viet Nam border.  While there, I contracted Hemorrhagic Dengue Fever, which is a mosquito born virus similar to malaria. It took me 14 months to fully regain my strength.

Two years later I was back in Cambodia. On the way home I began to manifest some strong flu-like symptoms. Within 5 days of being home I was in the hospital. In the ER I had some sort of episode that was similar to cardiac arrest, but that is not what happened. It would take a year of tests and medical specialists and finally Mayo Clinic before I had any kind of “answers”. There I learned what likely happened is that I had contracted some unknown Asian virus that had “made the leap” into my nervous system. This virus, following so soon after Dengue, compromised my auto-immune system. I now manifest symptoms that land me within the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome spectrum. I will likely live with this for the rest of my life. God has not healed me despite many prayers and various traditional and non-traditional attempts.

Is it unwise to take such risks? Is it foolish for medical workers to travel to West Africa to provide needed care in the Ebola crisis? Is it too risky to go against the US State Department warnings and locate oneself along the Turkey/Syria/Iraq border to care for the flood of traumatized refugees while ISIS bears down? Is it too high a cost to step into relational messiness in an attempt to facilitate reconciliation?  It is true each of these are costly and risky. But cost and risk is not to be our prime concern. If it is, we will be more concerned with our own well-being than that of others. And that self-concern is most unlike our God.

When we take risks that place us in possible harm’s way for the benefits of others, we are mimicking one of the core characteristics of God’s nature. You see, our God is Father. He desires sons and daughters to pour his life and love into. So much so that he has sought us out at great personal cost. The Son of God on the cross is the greatest display of God’s character, because it shows the self-sacrificing, self-giving nature of his love. And he desires other sons and daughters who will mimic him. That is how the glory of God’s love is displayed – He pours into us at personal cost and we are given the privileged opportunity to draw others into this relationship too. And sometimes that comes at great personal cost.  Yes, we must seek counsel and be prudent in our choices. But the priority question is not ‘ought I risk’. The question is, ‘what opportunities has God placed before me to carry his love to those who need it the greatest’. To live in a self-giving, self-sacrificing manner for others’ benefit is to be most like our Father in heaven. Sure there may be fear and turmoil. That is normative. Even Jesus experienced this in the hours before the cross (see John 12:27-33  and Mark 14:32-36). Each act of risk for another is a deliberate act of love.

I know that I did not fully grasp all these truths during those early visits to Cambodia. The Father was simply guiding me in truths I did not yet understand. Now that I do grasp these realities better, they make for challenging choices. The willingness to risk for others well being is the courageous work of shepherding – to lay one’s life down for the sheep.

And, yes, it was and is worth it.

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